I Would Rather ... another fiction letter

Dear ____________,

I know I should perhaps start by saying Sorry, however I would rather say this -
I Love You, always have. People tell me to forget you and I tell them, I do. I forget you. I forget you every night. What I do not tell them is that I remember you the next morning. I feel you wrap your arms around me when I open my eyes and see you when I sip my coffee. I feel the warmth of your body as the warm water caresses mine.
I live every moment like you are still around. There is hardly anything that does not remind me of you. The moments are still alive, still happening everyday. Sometimes, I feel like a soul outside my body when I see us sitting on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms. I see my cheeks turning red as you whisper something in my ear. The next moment I hear voices in the kitchen as you help me wash the dishes. I turn around, walk in only to see both of us staring at one another as if seeing each other for the first time. I see you keeping down the dish and taking my hand in yours and, I can literally feel your touch even in the present. If those moments still make my heart beat faster, how can I say that it is all from the past? How do people expect me to believe that it is all over and that it is time to let go?
No, I cannot. Whatever it might be for anyone else, for me you are still a part of me. And, for this I apologize to you too. I know you are hurting, I can feel it. Remember, I had told you once that we are connected. What one feels, the other feels it too. I know you do not like this, you are hurting to see that I still preserve the part of me, which I gave to you long ago. I am helpless, yes, I am.
I know sorry might not change a thing. It will not make you feel any better nor would it make me feel any good. But, that is all that I can say to you at this moment. Sorry, for not letting you go. I will continue to forget you everyday. You will always be a part of me like I have been a part of you all these years.



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Books by Arti Honrao

Depression is REAL

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