I Become You


I woke up in the middle of the night to find you gone. I searched for your stuff, but it was gone too. I was scared, hell no, I was horrified. I could not imagine my life without you, I had no world beyond you. I tried to call you frantically, but the calls went unanswered. I felt the tightening in my chest, I was unable to breathe, that is when I woke up, sweating and realised I had been dreaming. I turned to look at you; my nightmare had come true - you were not there. I did not have the courage to search for your stuff, I was fearful of what I might find. I rushed to the balcony to breathe fresh air. The night breeze brushed against my face, played with my hair, it soothed my mind, gave me the clarity to think. I came back to the room and sat on the bed. Where were you? I looked around, most of your stuff was still there but some was missing. And then I remembered. You were gone, yes, but you were  meant to come back. I remembered you leaving for your work; I remembered saying goodbye at the airport. I smiled as I remembered the kiss; so full of promise. I knew you were coming back.


I miss you. It has only been a day but it feels as if it has been an eternity. Why am I so used to you? Should someone be so used to another person, that without that person we do not have our own identity? I know many practical minds would say that it should not be so. Despite everything, love and all, we must keep our individuality intact. I try to do that often; I try to maintain my separate identity many a times, but when you take me in your arms and kiss me, I melt and merge with you. I am not me anymore, I become you. I find me outside my body, looking at myself through your eyes, I feel my own body warmth against your body and I also feel my own skin tingle under your touch as you touch my cheek and push behind the strand of hair from my face. I feel your emotions, what my presence does to you, I hear your heartbeats as if it were my own, I feel your anticipation and my response to your touch. How do we separate our identities in such circumstances?