note from 'Love Stories'

Dear Rohan,

I miss you. I know I have said this several times over the phone, but I wanted to say it once more. The moment the train moved out of the station I could feel the emptiness within me. It seemed as if a part of me was being taken away from me. I stared at the train until I could see it no more. It was because of the tears rather than the distance covered by the train. I am a no-tears person. Or, you can say- that is what I believed all these years. Even I was surprised when I tasted the salt of the tears on my lips. That is when I realized I was crying. Everyone at the station was staring at me. A few were looking at me with the expression of “we-know-how-you-feel” and all I wanted to do was cry out loud. I wanted to be invisible or at least wanted others to leave me alone. The right thing to do would have been walking out of the station but I could not move. I did not want to move. I was hoping that you’d change your mind and come back. How selfish of me, right? Would you believe if I tell you that I stood there at the station for half an hour?

This is the first time I am experiencing something like this. Just today, after we spoke over the phone, I went for a walk and without realizing where I was going I walked to your hostel. The best part, I walked to the watchman and asked him to give you a message that I was waiting for you at the gate. Can you believe it?
What is happening to me? Does being in love feel like this?

I never believed what they showed in movies. We both know how much we both hate all that rosy stuff. Therefore, I was shocked when I found myself entering Archies Gallery simply because I had to spend the time I usually spent with you. I walked to the Love section and went through the cards, which I would have never done had I been in my senses. Not only that, I ended buying something for you! Don’t worry; it is not a heart shaped balloon. It’s this lovely, cute little greeting card which sings “Nothing’s gonna change my love for you”. Okay, I am lying.

But, yes, I did buy something for you. I seriously hope you come back before I become totally filmy and start singing “kabutar ja ja ja” at the top of my voice, standing on the terrace of my building and waving goodbye to the pigeons of my area!

On a serious note –

I love you. I know you have always known that. You were always sure of my feelings, not because you took me for granted but it was because you knew me, sorry, know me so well.

This is the kind of love story I have always wanted where two people really understand one another. Thank you for being that kind of person to me. You must be thinking that I am going too sentimental on you. It’s true, so you can tell me that when we talk over the phone. I never knew this part of me ever existed. Every time we held hands or hugged; it seemed like a natural thing for me. But, this …
Being away from you, being far in distance, this is different. I never want to go through this again. This better be the first and the last time. That reminds me, last night my mom came to my room and asked me “Do you miss him?” Seriously! And, I don’t know why – I started crying. It is not like you have walked out of my life but… forget it.

You know what mom did when I started crying? She laughed and walked out of the room!
After some time, I heard her talking to my dad. She told him that I was crying. I felt so embarrassed! Worst, my dad started laughing too.

But then, suddenly, they got serious and discussed our marriage. Yes, you read it right. Our Marriage! I want to know what your reaction was after reading this. I wish you were here. I wanted to see you reading this. I wanted to see the look in your eyes. Do you think it is too early for marriage or do you think we are ready? Am I ready? Are you ready? Are our folks ready for this?
I knew this is the direction our relationship would go in but when I heard my parents talking about it, I felt shivers running down my spine. I want this, but I am not sure whether I want this now.

Okay, got to go!
Regards to your father.
Did I mention I love you?

love note from 'Love Stories