Lovingly Abusive Contest

Contest ends in


“She could just pack up and leave, but she does not visualise what's beyond ahead.”Núria Añó    

 
“The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways in which he has been good to her. Friends say: “He treats you that way because he can get away with it. I would never let someone treat me that way.” But she knows that the times when she puts her foot down the most firmly, he responds by becoming his angriest and most intimidating. When she stands up to him, he makes her pay for it—sooner or later. Friends say: “Leave him.” But she knows it won’t be that easy. He will promise to change. He’ll get friends and relatives to feel sorry for him and pressure her to give him another chance. He’ll get severely depressed, causing her to worry whether he’ll be all right. And, depending on what style of abuser he is, she may know that he will become dangerous when she tries to leave him. She may even be concerned that he will try to take her children away from her, as some abusers do.” - Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men  


 “YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER. One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.” - Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men    

 
Just because it is not physical, it does not mean it is not abuse. Verbal and Psychological abuses are real things; their effect is perhaps more damaging to the mind of the abused than the open wounds that can be seen in physical abuse.” - Arti Honrao    

 
This particular topic has been on my mind for quite some time. In fact, I have published some short stories and poem related to the topic of abuse. Marital abuse to be specific. Such short stories can be found on You Me & Stories but here I would like to shamelessly promote a poem of mine based on marital abuse.

Lovingly Abusive    
 
She believed the relationship would work
He wanted her to do all the work for the relationship
She believed adjustments needed to be made
He wanted her to improve for the sake of it
She was in pain, she was suffering because of the hardships
He told her the hardships were because of her.  
 
Read more   


When I use the word abuse I do not mean only physical abuse; it includes verbal and psychological abuses as well. People do not understand that the effect of verbal and psychological abuses is more damaging than the wounds of physical abuse; the healing takes a longer time and sometimes does not heal completely. The abused get used to living with the pain and the suffering as being a part and parcel of their lives, the baggage that comes with loving the partner so much.
Even though the first quote of this post AND my poem point out at the abused being a female, I believe the abused can be a man as well. A man in relationship with a woman (women can be abusers, too) or a man in relationship with a man.
This subject has been constantly whirling around in my mind because I know someone (really close) who is a victim of verbal and psychological abuse for years. I could go on writing on this topic, make this post into a relationship advice post but I am making a conscious effort to stop myself here.
The idea of converting this subject in to a contest for Writer’s Ezine crossed my mind a couple of months ago but I could not make myself sit at the desk and type out the words.
Finally, here I am!

This is perhaps the most serious topic contest I have held on Writer’s Ezine. Therefore, the prize money for this contest is going to be higher than those offered so far.
There will be three winning entries.
1. First Prize: Amazon gift voucher of 3500 INR and a book (paperback) of the winner’s choice. (And a free copy of Time Heals)
2. Second Prize: Amazon gift voucher of 2500 INR (And a free copy of Time Heals)
3. Third Prize: Amazon gift voucher of 1500 INR (And a free copy of Time Heals)  

  
It has been a long time, Writer’s Ezine has been dormant and I am not ashamed to admit that there are chances there might not be many submissions for this contest IF I promote it only on Writer’s Ezine. Hence, I request the readers to help promote the contest in any way possible. Share on your timeline, in groups, on your blogs, even share offline if you can.
I will be trying paid promotion as well (readers need not do paid promotions).

1. Fiction, non-fiction accepted. Part fiction - Part non-fiction accepted.
2. Poems - no word limits.
3. Short stories - no word limits but if possible avoid sending entries that are too lengthy.
4. Multiple submissions allowed. It goes without saying that the work has to be the original work of the poet/author. Work published on any other websites and/or books cannot be submitted (copyright issues), you can submit work that has been published on your personal blog (you have the rights).
5. Sensual poems/stories allowed, avoid erotica - with too much reference to the sex organs or too vivid scenes or unnecessarily gory stuff.
6. Write something powerful enough for someone to understand the effects of abuse but not too raw so as to make someone feel helpless and too dejected.
7. Inspire someone to break free from the shackles of an abused relationship through your work, if you can.
8. Even though I am talking about marital abuse here, submissions related to any kind of abuse are accepted.
9. Submissions that are sent only through the form will be accepted. The form is available at
If you face any difficulties while submitting through the form, write to me at contact@artihonrao.net. Once you upload the attachment, give it some time to reflect in the form.
10. Submissions should be sent as attachment (to the form) as Microsoft Word Document. 11. The copyright of the work remains with the poet/author; however, I (Arti Honrao) am allowed to edit the said work. (Minor changes, if at all)

SUBMISSIONS ARE FREE.

The last date to submit your entries is 31st May 2020. Get creative. The longer duration is because it might take a while for people to be aware of this contest. The day when the results will be declared would be announced on the Facebook page of Writer’s Ezine. Stay tuned.
Winning entries will be published on Writer’s Ezine, Straight from the Heart and You Me and Stories.
I (Arti Honrao) can postpone the deadline OR cancel the contest due to lack of submissions or any other reason or for no reason at all. Creativity never goes waste; if you have written/submitted your work it will get the attention deserved.

Last but not the least -
If you know someone who needs to share OR if you need to share feel free to reach out to me at Share with a Stranger.