go away ...

1,2,3,4,5 *sniff*
6,7,8,9,10 *sob*
she counted in the dark
because -
her mother had told her -
doing so would make her less scared
go away, she whispered
go away *sob*
her mother believed -
this would make the monster go away.

it was years ago -
this worked when she was a kid
and was afraid of the dark in her room
and often climbed in bed with her parents.

she was not a kid anymore
she was in college -
had moved out of her parents’ house
and lived in a dorm.
she wanted this to work.

one unfortunate incident -
had turned her life upside down
her trust in a wrong person
had brought the fear back
and -
she was scared of the dark again,
scared of the monster in the dark.

going on a date,
amidst the nature… 
out in the woods
seemed romantic,
she looked forward to it -
out in the woods 
she was knocked unconscious.

she woke up in the dark
with no clothes on
her hands and feet tied -
by something sharp that dug deep in her skin.

it hurt in between her legs,
her breasts hurt
and her wrists and ankles were bleeding.
she could not stop crying.
she sensed movement in a corner,
someone was in there with her.
go away, please go away,
she said as she cried.
and she heard a snicker
“i am not going anywhere” 
the voice said,
it was the voice -
of the guy she had come to the woods with.

he stepped closer
and kneeled beside her
he touched her -
and she vaguely remembered 
being touched by him before.
he was the one,
who had knocked her unconscious
and brought her to this dark room,
had done things to her
and then tied her up.

“go away” she remembered
“go away, I am stronger than you”,
these were the exact words 
her mother had taught her.
“I am stronger than you” she said 
and tried to kick the man as he untied her ankles
but he did not let go,
she struggled as he lay on top of her.
he was not the monster of her childhood,
the childhood monster 
was figment of her imagination
he was real and he hurt her,
over and over again.

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