Life...

Spend your life, burn like a candle -

Only to light up the dark.

Cry, shed the tears of pain -

Only to feel lightened enough to smile.

Remember the past -

Only to learn from your mistakes.

Shed the part that makes you miserable

For life is meant to be lived forward.

Few things cannot be changed in life;

Learn to move ahead with whatever happened ...

If at all you want to do something about it;

Promise yourself that it would be the last miserable moment.

Be optimistic and thankful for the life you have

Because God thought that you are worth it...

Make Him proud.

Life gives us a chance to choose what we want -

If we fail to choose, it gives us what it thinks is right.

Make your choice -

Live the life of your dreams

Because you are responsible for what you are

And what you can be...

(c) Arti Honrao

Moments...

I love those moments
When I can sit silently, talking to myself
When every other sound is obliterated
When I am no one's daughter,
no one's sister or friend
I love those moments
When I can be myself.

I love those moments
When I can take a peek inside me
See what I have done in the past
Figure out lessons from my mistakes
I would love to sit and plan
Or even daydream
About the future, that is far fetched
But not impossible.

I love those moments
When no one would bother me
When I would not have to talk to anyone
When I do not have to listen to anyone
The moments when I can sit silently and contemplate
I wish, I could find those moments
Which are lost somewhere,
Amidst the complexities of living.

Forever...

There were so many things I did not know about you
But still, when you held me in your arms,
I knew, I have known you forever

There were many things you did that made me feel so angry
But still, at the end of the day when you kissed me good night
I knew I could go on like this forever.

There were so many things you failed to do,
Times when you failed to care
But still,
When you gave me a peck on my cheek when I was depressed
I knew you were the man I could trust forever.

There were so many times you made me cry
But still, whenever I look back in time and peek into the memories
I know you would do anything to keep me happy forever.

There were times when we fought,
Times when we wanted to end it all
But, today as we sit next to one another on this bench
I know, living my life with you was my dream that has come true

And I know, tomorrow we might not be there for one another
A time might come when either you or I would leave the other
But, in the end, I know and you know it too...
We would love each other, forever.

Late Night Drive…

 

Nature has always had a soothing effect on my mind. I still remember the day I had spent time with dad amidst nature at Matheran. Read “Silent Moments with Dad” for details.

Recently, I had yet another opportunity to spend time with Nature. I would have never believed that Mumbai can fulfil the desire of mine to spend silent moments with nature; had it not been for my cousin brother who took me on a drive on the 27th (28th) of December. Yes, there were times when I did spend time sitting alone at Band – stand yet I was never at peace. It could never be the way I wanted it to be. Perhaps, night – time was what was missing! My most happy (read peaceful) moments are when I am awake at night while everyone is asleep. I love spending time at my window. Watch the leaves swaying gently with the soft breeze. Sometimes, I get lucky to get a clear view of the moon. It’s something I cannot describe in words. This beauty often inspires me to write.

Anyways – Talking about the drive …

It was not pre-planned. We were sitting on the couch talking to each other and all of a sudden he just asked me whether I would like to go for a drive. I have never left my house so late before this. I thought for a while and I heard myself telling me that I needed this drive. Yes, it was as if God had just granted me my wish. I put on my jeans and we left my house at 12:50 am. We had not made up our mind where to go. He started the car and I just gave him directions to reach Band – Stand. Let me remind you, it is my favourite spot in Mumbai. And, we reached Band – Stand in ten minutes!

The sea was silent but looked beautiful in the moonlight! I wish I had my camera with me. Still, the photographs would have not done justice to the real beauty of the sea I saw with my own eyes. There were a few people around, even a photographer who was trying to freeze the beauty in a picture. He did seem like a professional. If he did capture the beauty, I would love to buy the photograph, whatever it costs! My cousin and I walked for a while before finding a comfortable place to sit and talk. We were talking, I was paying attention to what he was saying but for a moment, I lost him. I lost myself. The sea simply mesmerized me. The silent sea in a way relaxed and silenced my tired and disturbed mind and the moonlight brightened up my soul.  We already had spent one hour at the sea and I would have loved to stay there for some more time but a police constable came and asked everyone to leave. We got into the car and what happened next did ruin the night for a while. As we got into the car and my brother was about to start the ignition, the constable flashed his torch on the window to take a peek inside. Me being short tempered was tempted to roll down the glass and shout at him that we were brother and sister; however, I did nothing of that sort. Perhaps it was the night that calmed me down and after a moment I was laughing about it. My brother and I had to admit that he was just doing his job, thanks to what does actually happen around at such places at such late hours.

After we moved out from Band - Stand we drove to Joggers park and some distance further to stop for a cup of coffee. Cafe coffee day let us down. The shutters were not down and a few guys were sitting inside so we stepped in, only to realize later that it was just the staff, talking. We settled for coffee from the guy carrying the mobile cafe on his bicycle *lol* and believe me, it was worth the money we paid him. In short – Who needs cafe coffee day on such a beautiful night!

We continued our drive for some more time, going to Prabhadevi; Siddhivinayak Temple. The temple was closed but I am sure God did hear our hello! I did not want to return home but …

We were back home at 3 am. We entered the house, carefully opening the door with the key and I tiptoed to my room, changed clothes and slept. Well, not exactly. I was awake for a while, smiling with closed eyes, trying to re-live the beautiful moments, re-visit the beauty of the sea (and the night) captured with the camera of my mind. Yes, it did turn out good. Not as beautiful as the live experience, nevertheless, an image, which would make me smile for days to come.

And, even now as I compose this post, I can vividly see the moon romancing the sea.

If You Can...

If you can, just tell me what would you do
If you were in my shoes and I was you
Would you wake up each day
And promise yourself that all would be fine?
Would you walk to a place you do not wish to go
And tell yourself, you would still do it -
For that is what made me happy?

If you can, just tell me what would you do
If you were in my shoes and I was you
Would you smile the entire day
Hide all your worries and fears
For all I want to see when I return home
Is a face glowing with happiness?
Would you massage my shoulders
Ask me how was my day
Would you care to listen -
Even if you had something important to do?

If you can, just tell me what would you do
If you were in my shoes and I was you
Would you strive all day long
To hear one word of appreciation
Would you give in your everything
To save the relationship that is important only for you?

If you can, just tell me what would you do
If you were in my shoes and I was you!
When you have the answer,
Just look outside, I am waiting for you on the porch
Either come and hand me my bag
Or take me in your arms



A letter from a frustrated wife to her husband
A last attempt to save the relationship, A hope that he would understand

Sandhya - 2

Sandhya - Part One

She removed her make-up changed into her favorite jeans and tee-shirt and walked out of her room. She got into her car and without waiting for the chauffeur she drove to her shrink.
He was waiting for her. The moment she walked past the door, he closed the door behind her; she turned around, went into his arms and started crying. He held her close and allowed her to cry. She was crying after so many months. Perhaps it was because of the hormonal changes taking place in her. He understood her need to cry and she knew he cared. He was more than her shrink; he was like a fatherly figure for her, someone she could confide in, someone from whom she could take advice. There were still many things she had to tell him, so many things he had to know to understand why she needed his counseling, to realize how fucked up her life was. She stopped crying and moved back. He handed her a handkerchief and as she wiped her tears he sat on his chair. The session was about to start. She stretched out on the patient’s chair and before he could do what normally his next step was, she asked him whether they could talk off the record. He agreed.

Sandhya

Sandhya entered her room, totally exhausted. Throwing herself on the bed was the only thing she wanted to do that very moment however, there were a couple of things she had to do before she could retire for the day. She had a meeting with a client and then she had to visit her shrink.

She removed the jazzy dress she was wearing and put on her regulars and then she removed the make – up she was wearing. Only after that she looked at herself in the mirror. She loved being this Sandhya. Her own self, when she could be just what she wanted to be. Sandhya, the one who had come from a small town to achieve her dreams. And, now, after becoming what she had wanted to become, all of a sudden, she did not like it. All this had started to annoy her. Putting up a fake smile was something she could never do earlier and now every smile of hers was Fake! She did not remember the last time she had smiled from within, smiled the real smile, which was loved by the people who had meant the world to her, people she had left behind.