unconditional love

he always knows 
what is the right thing to do 
whenever i am upset. 

he always has new ideas to impress me 
and his ideas always succeed in making me smile. 
there are these things he says with his eyes, 
things that always make me shed a tear or two, 
asking myself a question - "What did i do to deserve this kind of love?"

he knows when i want to be alone 
and i hate it when at such times he pulls at my sleeve 
and forces me to walk out of the house 
but when i drive with him to our favourite spot 
and snuggle close to him under the starry sky, 
my heart always fills with happiness and optimism. 

at times, it also fills my heart with fear, 
fear of losing him. 
i always fear losing him 
because i know i am not his first choice. 
i know some day someone else is going to come 
and take him away from me. 
brushing those thoughts aside 
i try to enjoy my days with him. 
when he is with me, 
he is completely loyal to me 
and that is what matters the most. 

When he is around i feel secure, 
i know that no one would ever dare touch me 
or trouble me in his presence. 
we share a bed large enough to accommodate three people 
yet i allow him to snuggle close to me 
and at times let him keep his head over my chest 
and listen to my heart sounds 
as i run my fingers through his hair. 

in the mornings, 
as he wakes me up by tickling my ears 
it makes me start my day with a smile 
and i really enjoy that. 
he knows how much i love him 
and how much i care for him. 
despite my busy schedule 
i love to cook for him 
and when he eats as if he has never eaten before, 
i feel happy.

he is always there to welcome me 
whenever i return home from work 
and that really makes me look forward to returning home. 
the moment i enter the house, 
i give him a warm hug 
and all the stress simply evaporates in thin air.

i know this is going to change soon. 
very soon, the doorbell would ring 
and as i open the door, 
he would walk to the door with me 
and after seeing the person at the door, 
he will rush into the arms of that person. 
i cannot blame him, she owns him. 
he has always been hers 
and though he loves me, 
i know he cannot be with me. 

As i said earlier, 
i am not his first choice. 
despite all this, 
i am sure; 
he would be there for me, always. 
he would be next door 
and whenever i call him, 
he will answer my call.

as he rests his head on my lap, 
running my fingers through his hair 
i await the moment 
when she will take him with her 
and almost immediately the doorbell rings. 
he gets up 
and rushes to the door before i do. 
does that mean he loves her more than he loves me? 
i guess, i should leave that question unanswered. 

actually, that question does not make any sense. 
that question is applicable to humans like us 
who categorise love in different forms and percentages. 
love for him is simply love 
and he loves those who love him. 

i walk to the door 
and open it for my neighbour 
who is here to take back her dog 
she had left with me for a few weeks 
because she was out of town. 
as I bend on my knees 
and kiss his furry head, 
i know in my heart 
that he would love me 
just the way he has loved me all this while 
and he is only a call away 
when I need caring and security.

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Books by Arti Honrao

Depression is REAL

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