New Beginning - 5

New Beginning - 1 | New Beginning - 2 | New Beginning - 3 | New Beginning - 4

Anita was silent. She would tell him when he returned. There was something else she wanted to talk to him about. This was not the first time she was going out of town for work. She also knew that Sameer was a decent man and he would not take undue advantage of being alone with Grishma, but something bothered her. She was feeling bad about having to go away from Sameer. Strangely, she envied Grishma for being able to spend more time with Sameer while she had to go out for work.
When Sameer returned she told him that she was going out of town for a few weeks but she did not get the chance to talk much.

The next morning Anita woke up early. As she walked to the living room she saw that Sameer was still sleeping. She stared at him for some time. She did not believe that it was happening to her. She could not believe that someone could influence her like this. She could not believe that she was in love with Sameer. Sameer, out of all the people! How much did she know him? What did she know about him other than that he was an Obstetrician who was not practicing anymore for his personal reasons, that is what he had told her! Oh yes, she also knew that he was a good cook. Was all that enough to fall in love with him? She thought. Perhaps it was not, perhaps it was. Whatever, it did not change the way she felt about him. She had felt it when she had seen him for the first time. She had felt the connection when she had seen him staring blankly towards a wall as they stood outside Grishma’s room. She knew that Sameer was struggling to come out of his past and she knew that she would bring him out of it.
“What happened?” Sameer said sitting up.

New Beginning - 4

New Beginning - 1 | New Beginning - 2 | New Beginning - 3

After a while Anita joined them in the living room.
“How are you feeling?” Anita asked Grishma as she sat next to her.
“Fine, but tired. I need to take some rest” saying so, Grishma got up to go.
Both Anita and Sameer stood up to support Grishma
“Come on guys, I am fine and I can walk alone to the room”
As Grishma went to her room to take rest, Sameer reached for the remote to switch on the television but decided against it.
Anita picked up the magazine she had brought with her and started reading. Sameer got up and walked to the window.

Anita lowered the magazine and looked at Sameer as he spent time lost in his own world. There was something about Sameer that attracted her towards him. She could not lay her finger over it but she knew there was something strange about this man. Something secretive and she loved secrets.

New Beginning - 3

New Beginning - 1 | New Beginning - 2

“Anyways, what would you have for dinner? Let us pamper ourselves with something delicious. I do not want you to taste my cooking; you might want to leave tonight”
Grishma smiled.
Sameer picked up the phone and ordered.

At night, Sameer slept on the couch, allowing Grishma to sleep on the bed. That night as Grishma slept comfortably in the warm blanket she could feel the warmth only of the blanket. That night she did not feel Yash’s breath on her neck. She spent some time lying awake in her bed, her eyes refusing to stay open and her mind not allowing her to sleep. Yesterday night, when she had convinced herself that it was her last night in the house she had spent time crying the whole night. She had felt Yash’s warmth encompassing her cold body as she stood staring outside the window. But tonight, she could not feel him. Tonight, she found herself praying to feel his presence though all these days she tried to come out of that feeling. How could his presence leave her suddenly, just like that? She did not get the answer. Perhaps it was right there in front of her, but she failed to notice. She never knew when she fell asleep.

New Beginning - 2

New Beginning - 1

When Grishma opened her eyes, she realized that she was inside her house. She was sleeping in her bed and her own bed-sheet covered her body. She looked around and saw a man standing at the window.
She was about to get up …
“Please, do not move”, the man said as he moved towards her.
“Who are you and what am I doing here?”
“I found you in the corridor, stuck between the doors of the elevator. You had lost consciousness. I brought you inside”
Suddenly she remembered everything that had happened. The pain in her heart and the pain in her womb…
“As far as the first part of the question is concerned, I am Sameer and you are in my house.”
My house, did the man just say My House? It took some time for the words to sink in. Indeed, it was no more her house. So, this was the man who had bought her house. She looked at him closely.
The man smiled and she looked away.

She moved her hand over her belly. No pain. A worried look came over her face and the man knew what she was thinking.
“It is fine. That was the first thing I checked when I brought you inside.”
”Checked?”
“I am an Obstetrician.”
As a patient she should have not felt like this but then she did feel it. She felt as if some stranger had intruded her privacy.
“I am sorry; I just could not wait for your consent.” the man apologized.
“It’s fine. In fact, I am thankful to you for all that you did.”
“What had happened?”
“I don’t know; I had this severe pain in the womb…”
“Everything seems to be normal. On examination, at least! Has this happened before today?”
“I did feel restless before, but this pain, it just happened today as I walked out of the house.”
“Did you get any tests done?”
“Yes. All the reports are normal. I just visited my doctor yesterday, she said everything is fine.”
“We will get all the tests re-done if you feel the pain again.” The man told her.
“Ok” Grishma whispered.
“Sleep for some time. I will just look around; this is my first day in this house.”
Grishma stared at him as Sameer got up to walk around the house.

New Beginning

She looked out of the window for one last time before closing it. Her hair that danced on the soft breeze suddenly fell silently on her shoulders. It felt somewhat similar to what had happened to her after Yash walked out of her life. She had become still, silent and dead apart from the fact that she was breathing and at the same time nourishing yet another life within her.

Grishma turned around to look at her house for the last time. The walls seemed to be screaming obscenities in her ears, cursing her for what she had done. As she walked from one room to the other, it was confirmed that the decision she had taken was right. But what was it that suggested otherwise? You will never understand, she whispered as she moved her hand over the walls. At that moment, something changed. Something that could not be seen or acknowledged by the anatomical eye but could be felt deeply, within.
It was as if the house had given her the permission to vacate it. In spite of all this, there was something inside her that was not letting go. A part of her body still refused to accept her decision. She assumed it was her heart.

Is This The Way?

Image  (c)  Johann Heinrich Füssli

Is this the way of living?

Wearing a constant mask over your face?

To hide what bothers you

because it might offend someone?

To put up a false smile

when all you want to do is cry?

To watch silently,

the destruction of the storm,

tell  yourself -

"What could I have done? I was helpless."

Is this the way of living?

Wearing a constant mask over your face?

Call your shallow living as living carefree;

Not trying to change anything -

Accepting what comes your way.

Is this the way of living?

If yes,

I wish I could take a voluntary retirement from it.

Free Book Of Two Short Stories...

Hi All,

I will soon be publishing a book of two short stories.

1. Is This Love 
2. Autumn - The Last Leaf ( this story has already been published on the blog. Read here)

and would be distributing it free of cost.

The reason for publishing Is This Love and distributing this book free of cost can be found here

Those who are interested in the free copy please use the Request form

Of course, the shipping would be free, too and it does not matter where you stay (provided you are in this world!)

The synopsis of "Is This Love" as written by Deepa Govind

IS THIS LOVE opens with a respect for friendship that Vishaal and Sheetal share. They live together and conduct themselves as being rational, mutually understanding and admiring friends. Even though both share the same roof, they are nowhere near to being lovers. At least not until Sheetal starts dating Aman and Vishaal starts missing her. Sheetal’s absence gives Vishaal a lot of time to ponder over his feelings towards her. Having convinced himself over his love for Sheetal, he decides to help her with her marriage to Aman; after all, what matters the most is who Sheetal loves to be with.

Sheetal is a smart, independent, and outspoken woman. She has no qualms about her friendship and living-in arrangement with Vishaal, and does not attempt to hide or justify this friendship to anyone. Workplace romance was inevitable between Sheetal and Aman. She has his photo beside the bed so that she could go to sleep looking at his smile. But… did she really love Aman?

Aman is very much in love with Sheetal, but loathes the thought of her friendship with Vishaal. Yet, he stands by his ladylove when his parents confront her over Vishaal and her relationship. He marries Sheetal much against the wishes of his parents.

Marriage was not a bed of roses for Sheetal. Her visit to catch up with Vishaal starts infuriating Aman. Aman’s parents were not of much support either, reflecting contempt at every gesture. One day, Aman’s simmering skepticism erupts as blows. Deeply hurt both on the inside and on the outside, she turns to Vishaal for solace, yearning for Aman in her heart. The doorbell rings on an unsuspecting afternoon. But, is it Aman at the door? Or did his intentions take shape? What provoked Aman to manhandle Sheetal on that fateful day? The events that follow, takes us through the course of love, life and trust amongst the three.

Moving On... Part 5

Moving On... Part 1 | Moving On... Part 2 | Moving On... Part 3 | Moving On... Part 4

When the newly wedded couple was about to leave, Maya’s mother told Sneha that Maya wanted Sneha to accompany her to Sanchit’s house though they had suggested that her other cousin sister should go. Sneha knew it right from the beginning that Maya would pick her up for this. Sneha was supposed to go and stay with Maya for a few days according to the rituals. Sneha was meant to share Maya’s room. It was only after the couple visited their family temple, would they consummate their marriage. Till then Sneha was supposed to share the room with Maya.

Sneha thoroughly enjoyed the days she spent with Maya. On the last day, when the couple visited the temple and returned home Sneha told Maya that she would leave the next day.
“Where are you going for your honeymoon?” Sneha asked.

Moving On... Part 4

Moving On... Part 1 | Moving On... Part 2 | Moving On... Part 3

The other day when Sneha woke up, she was sleeping on the sofa and Avinash was not around. After some time he came out of the bedroom and smiled at Sneha.
“Good morning.”
Sneha smiled and wished him.
After some time Avinash dropped Sneha at her house. Unfortunately Sneha’s father saw them from the window. The moment she entered the house she was asked for explanation. Her parents could not believe that she had stayed overnight at Avinash’s house. Her father would have slapped her had she not began crying. Her parents looked at one another. She told them that she loved Avinash but he did not love her. She told them exactly what had happened at Avinash’s residence and her parents knew that she was not lying. As her father walked close to her she went in his arms.

Sneha’s mother did not know how to react. It was true that Sneha’s parents were orthodox but they were more concerned about Sneha and hence when they learned that she was hurt they wanted to help their daughter.
With a heavy heart they allowed her to go to France. They knew she needed to be alone. They also knew that Maya would take care of her.

Moving On... Part 3

Moving On... Part 1 | Moving On... Part 2

Sneha managed to climb up to her flat and was about to open the door with her key when it was opened from inside. Maya had returned home. Sneha walked inside. Maya looked at Sneha and realized that she was limping.
“What happened?”
“Nothing… just tripped in the staircase.”
Maya offered her hand and helped Sneha to walk towards the sofa.
“You are late.”
“Yeah, I had been out.”
“With Avinash?”
Sneha looked at Maya and she got her answer.
“I tried calling on your mobile but it is switched off.” Maya said, helping Sneha to remove her sandals.
“Oh.” Sneha checked her purse. Her mobile was indeed switched off but Sneha did not remember switching it off.
“Battery empty” Sneha said keeping the mobile back in her purse.
Maya was looking at Sneha and it was only after a little while that Sneha understood the reason.
“Sorry, I forgot to buy the groceries.”
“It is fine. I will buy tomorrow. Anyways, I don’t think you will be going to the office tomorrow.” Maya said looking at Sneha’s ankle. Her foot had started picking up color and it had even started swelling.
Sneha could not believe that the wonderful evening had ended in this manner.
Maya stared at her for a while before going in to get painkiller gel for Sneha.

Moving On... Part 2

Moving On... Part 1

Back to her apartment when Sneha pressed the doorbell, Maya opened the door for her. She was talking on her mobile. Sneha thanked her luck and walked to her room. But her luck was short-lived because almost immediately Maya came to her room with a cordless phone. She handed her the cordless phone and stood there for some time
Once again, it was strange that Maya knew what the couple had advised. Sneha pushed the talk button and dialed the mobile number, Maya smiled as she realized that Sneha had already memorized the number. She walked out. She knew Sneha needed to be alone

The phone rang for a long time before it was answered. It was a woman’s voice on the other end. Perhaps his wife, Sneha thought.
“Hello …”
“Yes?”
“May I speak to Avinash?”
“May I know who is it?”
“Sneha … I am” before Sneha could complete her sentence the woman on the other end said, “Oh Sneha! Finally I get to talk to you…”
Sneha was silent. Not able to understand what to speak next.
As if understanding Sneha’s awkwardness the woman spoke again
“Hi, I am Sandhya … Avinash’s wife. I have heard a lot about you.”
“Hi.” Sneha was at loss for words
Sandhya sensed Sneha’s reluctance and continued, “Avinash forgot his cell at home, do you have any message for him?”
“Well … nothing important, just tell him I had called up.”
“Sure. Bye”
“Bye”
And the call was disconnected.

Moving On...

A hurricane of thoughts clouded her mind as she drove back to her place after meeting him. It was the most unexpected meeting and she was not sure how to react when she saw him at the mall. His reaction on the other hand had been the most casual. A simple “Hi” sugared with his usual smile. Her heart skipped a beat as he approached her from the gents section of the shop to where she was standing, waiting for someone to come out of the dressing room.

Things were not the same before. She was always comfortable in his presence but today as he approached her she wanted to disappear. Things had changed… why?
She never wanted them to change. She would have lived like before forever, but it was not meant to be.
She failed to see the red signal and continued driving for a distance till she was stopped by a traffic officer. He asked for her driving license and she obliged, still thinking about him. The officer handed over the license to her and gave her a copy of the fine she had to pay. She opened her purse and paid the cash. At the same time she saw his visiting card in the purse. It was not meant to be there … or perhaps it was. She had thought that she was in control of the situation but once she had seen him unexpectedly, all the memories had rushed back to her.

Human Too

Don't hold on to me
For I am not the one you can rely on
I may make you smile, or even laugh
But there are times when I cry too
Don't depend on me for the smile
Don't depend on me for support
For there are times when
Even I stumble and fall,
Because I am a Human after all!
(Re-published)

New addition:

Incomplete Poem...

I have come a long way
I know,
Because when I look back
I cannot see the people I left behind

I have learned a lot in all these years
I know,
Because I know things I did not know then
Things, which perhaps I should have not known

I have grown up, definitely,
Physiologically and psychologically too...
I know,
Because the mirror reflects a strange face
When I look at it trying to search for the "old" me

I am not sad, perhaps I am happy
Yes, you can say that
Because I am smiling.

There are a lot of things to be said
I know,
Because my fingers are trembling
As I compose this poem
... my first incomplete poem.

Amendments IV, V and VI

Amendments I, II and III

IV

When Chris had seen Megan getting out of her car he could not stop himself from staring at her. She still looked as she looked during those days, if at all some thing had changed it was that she had become prettier than before. She still had the same effect on him like she had earlier. He was not sure why all those things had happened, things that had pushed them apart but he knew one thing and that was – he still loved her.
When he had called Megan and asked to meet, he knew that she would refuse in the beginning but something in her tone told him that she would agree to meet when asked for the second time. His Megan was not happy with her life, she was not happy with Daniel. Chris knew it and he was going to use it to bring her back in his life. Megan deserved to be happy; she deserved to be with him.

They had grown up together and he had always fulfilled all her wishes. He had given her all that she had demanded from him. He had seen to it that she was always happy and that is what he was going to do now. He was going to make her happy. He did not consider it coincidence that he had seen her at a mall a few days ago. One look at her and he had known that her marriage was falling apart, if not he would see to it that it would fall apart. There definitely were weak walls in it. He had then followed her, tried to know her whereabouts and had finally found where she worked and managed to get her cell number from Megan’s friend in café. One cup of coffee and a few lies was all that had taken for him to get the number from her.
Daniel deserved to be punished for what he had done, Chris thought.

Amendments I, II and III

I

Every night after finishing their dinner, Daniel and Megan loved spending time in each other’s arms. They spoke about each other’s day as Daniel put his arm around Megan and she placed her head on his shoulder. It was one of those little things that made their married life special. However, tonight was not one of those nights. They were in the hall but there was an invisible barrier between the two. Something they both had recognized for the past few days! No marriage is perfect, even theirs was not. There were ups and down in their married life, it was their “down” phase going on. The brightly lit room failed to illuminate the dark corner of Megan’s mind. The thoughts nibbling at the back of her mind were so obviously shown on her face that Daniel felt the heaviness in his chest. He loved his Meg, but lately things were shaping up from bad to worse.
Megan was standing at the window, looking outside. Daniel was seated on the couch, watching Megan. He always loved the way Megan’s hair rose and fell on her shoulders as the breeze whistled past her hair; that made her look sensuous. Even tonight, Daniel wanted to get up from the couch and hug her but she was not in the mood.

Daniel knew something was wrong and he had played a role in it. But he could not fathom the seriousness of the matter when Megan told him that she wanted a divorce. He had tried his best to make her understand, tried telling her how much he loved her, he had apologized for his mistakes of the past and promised her that he would not repeat his mistakes in future but nothing, absolutely nothing convinced her enough.

If I Could Tell You ...

If I could tell you what is in my heart;
Life would have been a different story altogether

I looked at you with hope in my eyes
I thought you would understand
What I could not say in words,
But expressed through eyes
But you never bothered to look deep into them
They were overflowing with love for you
But you could not understand them.

If I could tell you what is in my heart;
Life would have been a different story altogether

I had waited always for you to hold my hand
To walk a few steps with me
But you never ever did walk with me
Nor did you hold my hand
I tried to show my love to you
I wrote your name in the sky
It was late when you saw... it had already rained
And the words dissolved but feelings remained.

If I could tell you what is in my heart;
Life would have been a different story altogether

I decided to write to you
The expression of my deep feelings
I took a pen and scribbled some words
I threw papers in the bin till it was overflowing
But could not just compose my feelings
Finally I wrote: I LOVE YOU
Just three words meant especially for you
But it rained again,
This time from my eyes
The words dissolved in front of my eyes
And I was back to NOTHING, again!

If I could tell you what is in my heart;
Life would have been a different story altogether

Anonymous And Nickname...

I

She loved him, a lot. Perhaps more than she could ever imagine loving anyone. She knew him since childhood. He was the first guy to hold her hand and walk along the beach. He was the first guy she had punched; the first guy she had hugged; the first guy she had rolled with, in the sand at the seashore. He was the first person of the opposite sex to know that she had grown up. She did not mind discussing it with him; in fact he was the one who had provided her the insight into its physiology.
He was the one who always kept telling her what was the right thing to do and what she should not be doing. She loved him and he did not know. There was no chance of him knowing it. She never let that happen. She did not know why, but she was scared of him. He was only four years elder to her, was her best friend but he always sounded like a big brother trying to protect her from the bad guys.

As a teenager, she had her own share of infatuations till she realized that he was the guy she really loved. In the beginning, she tried to ignore her feelings as one of her infatuations. He was the first person to know about her infatuations, other than her infatuation for him. He was the person who ran a quick study on the background of the guys she dated.

Forbidden ...

She loved the sound of leaves beneath her feet
as she took a stroll in the woods everyday
She loved the sound of brook that cut the woods in two halves
One, where she lived and the other forbidden

One day, she ran in the woods
leaves leaving the sound of her trail
she ran along the length of the brook
till she found a place to cross
Stepping cautiously over the stones
she reached the other side

The sky grew darker and the woods denser
She walked holding her new skirt a little higher
to avoid it from being torn by the overgrown weeds.

Far away, deeper into the woods
She found a house lost in time
the walls crumbled, the door left open