Dealing with Memories

sad memories come back, 
when you do not want them to... 
They claw at your heart, rip apart your mind 
and leave you exhausted, suffocating, 
desperately trying to hold on to something positive.

You try your best to be optimistic 
about a lot of things happening in your life, 
however, you do not always succeed. 
Despite following the 'be happy' mantra in your life; 
despite trying to be optimistic, 
there are moments when you cannot help yourself, 
moments when you unwillingly give in to the negative thoughts. 

You are forced to take the dive, 
stumble down into the nothingness
you think you are swimming,
that you will somehow be able to make it;
maybe like that one time,
when you thought you were lost -
but you found yourself.
you realise, that's not happening -
not this time. 
you find yourself drowning in sadness, 
the pessimism that fills your mind makes you scream
it turns out to be a soundless call for help. 
You look around, trying to find a log to cling onto; 
that one happy memory which will not only neutralise the negativity 
but make you optimistic about life, again.

you find it, finally.
something that will keep you afloat
something positive to hold on to -
something from the past, that mattered - 
something that created a happy memory,
made you smile and 
be happy about life.

We all need these 'happy' logs in our mind; 
especially for such moments when there's no hope
when sad memories assault your mind,
threaten to engulf you, like a vicious serpent.
we need to keep happy memories handy -
the ones that will fight the darkness of depression - 
with the light of positivity emanating from them.

When people say that you need to get rid of bad memories, 
when people say that you must not allow them to come and haunt you, 
they are asking for the impossible. 
They know it themselves, 
because even they have their own ghosts of the past. 
Memories do not leave you. 
Memories always stay. 
How you deal with them is what decides -
how well you are able to cope up with your past.

Memories will come back, 
they are meant to... 
Memories will haunt you, 
make you sad, 
make you cry 
and wonder why did things go wrong. 

Memories would make you go through the emotions again. 
You are human, you will have no control over memories 
Be all that. 
Be sad, cry, wonder - relive the emotions, 
it is part of the process. 
Take the dive but do not allow yourself to drown - 
look out for 'the log' and grab it. 
Save yourself from drowning. 
Stay afloat, swim, come back to the shore - 
hold on to the log till you are sure you are safe enough.

There is no way to get rid of memories; 
but you can neutralise the sad ones with happy ones.

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Books by Arti Honrao

Depression is REAL

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