only me

i hate to admit but it is true,
sometimes, burdened with unwanted emotions
i coop up in my room, into the farthest corner -
where no one can see me or hear me
and then i let it out, all the pent up emotions
i cry like the whole world has fallen apart
like i am tumbling down -
into a never-ending void
nothing to hold on to -
i fall and keep falling
waiting to hit hard onto something
that will stop my fall
but it does not happen
i keep falling and i keep crying.
i hear voices but i cannot distinguish what voices say
it is all chaos, some whispers some screams -
i look around, nothing but darkness.
i close my eyes -
then, there is silence, absolute silence.
i can neither hear the sound of the fan,
nor the hum of the air conditioner
only sound i hear is uneven beating of my heart,
in tune with the ragged breathing of mine
i keep listening to the sound
my only tether to the real world around
heartbeats even out and breathing slows down

i feel them dancing together, oblivious to the world
and i sing for them, the song of the soul.
my heart fills with music -
hope and joy follows.

i open my eyes to a new world,
where no one matters, nothing matters
it is only my heartbeats, breathing, soul and me.