maybe..




i wish i could
just let go of them...
of the memories
that hold me back -
against my will.
i wish i could
crumple them into a ball
and throw them away -
into the wind,
to be taken far-off;
where my mind cannot reach.

i wish i could
stop myself -
from turning around
and looking at the past
deep into the darkness-
that i, somehow, came out of.
i wish i could
ignore the footprints -
of dragged feet;
evidence of -
unseen burden over the shoulder.


i wish i could
just close my eyes -
and feel;
the soft breeze on my face
the light over my closed eyes
i wish i could
remind myself that -
i am here, right now -
in the present,
a survivor,
who has fought the past
struggled with memories
and yet managed -
to step out of the darkness -
so what if with dragged feet.

i wish i could
allow myself -
to smile
to be proud
to trust again
take the leap of faith.

maybe i could
do all that and more
but i will need time
to forget and heal
to start anew
i will need time;
to be whole again
to be who i am
and what i can be
i will need time.
maybe.