I wish I could
just let go of them...
of the memories
that hold me back -
against my will.
I wish I could
crumple them up
and throw them away -
into the wind,
to be taken far-off;
where my mind cannot reach.
I wish I could
stop myself -
from turning around
and looking at the past
deep into the darkness -
that I, somehow, came out of.
I wish I could
ignore the footprints -
of dragged feet;
evidence of -
unseen burden over the shoulder.
I wish I could
just close my eyes -
and feel;
the soft breeze on my face
the light over my closed eyes
I wish I could
remind myself that -
I am here, right now -
in the present,
a survivor,
who has fought the past
struggled with memories
and yet managed -
to step out of the darkness -
so what if with dragged feet.
I wish I could
allow myself -
to smile
to be proud
to trust again
take the leap of faith.
maybe I could
do all that and more
but I will need time
to forget and heal
to start anew
I will need time;
to be whole again
to be who I am
and what I can be
I will need time.
maybe.
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