It’s here for me.


I try not to move
As I hear him enter the room
He slides in bed next to me
I can feel him now
I shut my eyes tightly
And I hold my breath

That gives me away,
I should be breathing;
I am alive and not dead,
Yet.

He attacks me
Wraps his hands around my neck
Tries to choke me
He laughs as I struggle.
He is now sitting on top of me,
His legs on either side of me,
His knees pressed hard against my waist -
So that I cannot move.

I try not to look into his eyes -
But I do,
When I feel his gaze -
Burning my skin.
The dark black scary eyes -
Stare back at me -
I see the lust in his eyes,
And I know he’s going to consume me.

He opens his mouth
And I see his long forked tongue.
I scream, or I think I do
Because there’s no sound;
I have lost my voice.

I wake up sweating,
It’s a dream, I realise -
As I wipe the sweat from my forehead.
The depression -
It’s now out in the open,
It no more lurks in the dark;
It’s come for me,
Is reaching out to me -
Even in broad daylight.
It has now climbed into my bed with me
Wrapped itself around me
Like a lover would spoon with his partner.

For a moment -
When I had thought I had gotten used to it
Had befriended it;
It’s found a new way now,
To scare me to insanity
“One step at a time”, the darkness whispers
“We are getting close.
You will be set free soon;
All the burdens you carry around with you,
Will cease to exist -
When you finally become one with me.”

“You will be sane in insanity
And we will truly be inseparable”;
It assures me -
As it licks my cheek with its forked tongue
Wraps its slender arms around me,
I feel its claws running through my hair
And then- it lulls me back to sleep.