it was not her fault...



pick up the damn phone, she yelled
as a caller-tune played on the other side of the line
it was a different caller-tune,
not the special one set for her.
it was the caller-tune set for the public,
that's what she had become.

he had not even bothered -
to set the tune for her,
she was the one who had taken his phone
and set the caller-tune herself
he did, however, take the trouble of changing it...

he'd cut off all communication with her -
after his engagement to that woman
what was her fault?
That she had called the other woman a bitch?
She was both - a bitch and the other woman.
He was meant to be with her
He was hers alone,
He belonged to her.

She knew they had a future together
She had chalked out a plan -
He just had to be there.
Instead, he had ruined everything.
We are just friends, he said.
Were they only friends when he had held her hand -
When he had hugged her 
and kissed her on the forehead,
The time when she was upset about death in family?
Isn't that what a lover was supposed to do?
Console his lover during the rough phase?

That night - 
she had kissed him on the lips
and he had not objected.
It had been late and he had been tired,
he had just dozed off,
but -
who does not wake up when kissed? She thought.

It was not her fault,
if he could not face the truth - 
she had tried contacting him the next day,
the door was locked and 
the key was missing from its hiding place
Therefore, she had peeked in through the window
and had caught the bitch straddling her man
Enraged, she had picked up a stone 
and hurled it towards her, aiming for her head.
All she wanted to do was help him.

Within days 
he had taken restraining order against her
She had tried to make him understand
When he did not understand -
She approached the other woman
It was not her fault that 
the woman asked her to mind her own business. 
She took matters in her hand; it was her business.

There was so much blood -
flowing out of the woman's neck.
She had tried to help,
she pulled out the knife
and the woman bled to death.

It was not her fault -
that he did not understand.
It was not her fault -
that he had cut off communication.

She wanted him to understand that -
wanted him to pick up the phone 
before her privileges were taken away
before she was locked in the white room
with no access 
to him or her previous life.

"last time" she told them 
When they insisted she let it go
"The number you have called is currently unavailable"
those were the last words she heard
Before the glass doors separated her
from the rest of the world.





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Depression is REAL

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